Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Old Ladies Make You Fat!
So, I was at Publix the other morning after doing my walk at the park. I needed to pick up just a few things and noticed that they had their yogurt on sale so I figured I would get a few of them for the children. They really like them for breakfast in the morning and they are great when we have to run out first thing in the day.
So........I was placing a variety of flavors into my cart when a older woman (probably in her 70's) pulls her cart up along side of me. I continue to place items in my cart when she says................
Old Woman: You know I buy the plain yogurt cause the kind you are getting with the fruit is just going to make you fatter.
Me: Well..........yes I know I'm a Fat Ass but I'm perfectly fine with being a Fat Ass. Thank you very much!
Old Woman: Well! I was trying to be helpful!
Me: actually I didn't say anything out loud at this point. HOWEVER........I did have a whole slew of not very nice things that were being screamed in my head..........
THINGS SCREAMING IN MY HEAD: Nobody asked for your opinion or your "Helpfulness"! Why don't you just go and break a hip! Do you not realize I just walked a 15 minute mile! TWICE! Do you really think that I am "Getting Fatter" because of the yogurt I am buying that I don't ever get to eat any of because my children are savages and ALWAYS like the ones that I like and then AND THEN they proceed to eat ONLY the ones that I like so why WHY would I get fatter if I have no FAT FREE LOW CAL YOGURT to eat anyway! Is all of this walking and healthy eating in vain! Am I going to turn out like you..... walking around my local grocery store handing out these "HELPFUL" tidbits to unsuspecting shoppers when I am old and can't eat anything BUT yogurt through a straw because my dentures are ill fitting and AND........
Alright........so there were quite a few cuss words ( I think I actually made up a few new ones) that were actually in that whole monologue......but since I'm not sure if there are little eyes in the room, well........you get the point. I am not sure what my point was with posting this as every-time I think about it it just gets my blood boiling. WAIT! Doesn't boiling stuff make part of it evaporate which in theory would make something become less than what it was.....which would mean I might have burned a WHOLE 2 calories depending on how long I let my blood boil? Yes? No? Not so much? UGH.
Someone help me down from this soap box before I crush it with my yogurty fat self. It's kind of high up here. I wouldn't want to break a hip.